ATTAK OF DA SEXI TITENS!
by Night Diamond Forever
Summary: All da titans are sad n borin until... 1 VERY SEXI TITEN CUMS TO TOWNE! Meet titen dimond who is very haute and 30-metar class! Lso starrin Titan Levi, Titen Erin (omg so sexah) Titan Armen, Titan Marko, Armur Titan, Titen Dot, nd Colassal Titan! ND Titen BEan! (who da fuk is bean nyways?)
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so Mr Rikards is helpin me wriet da book this time! Hes da anime club teecher. He good at english but he can lso speek Das Japanez! OMG I FUCKIN LOVE SHINKI NO KYOWN! ERIN IS SOOOOO HAUTE! ND SO IS LEVY! ND ALL DA OTHER GUYS!**

 **anyways!**

One day big tittan sexi Erin was strompin around killin people and shit. Den, out of nowhere, Micasa! **(i hate stupd mikisa bc dats a brand of forks)**

"Omg i love u erin!" she yelld up at his handsum sexy tittan fase. **(Omg he has like 50000 tieeth and a like 500 pak!)** But sexi erin yelling sexi LOADLY roared and steppd on her bc she was an ugly bitch. Littel pecis of Mikasa sored eveerway, bluud n guts and sstuf.

Suddenly... giant Dimond Titna!

Dimond titan was really haute. She had long long long blaak hair dat went down 2 her nees and enormous big ranbow eyes. Her boobs were ENORMOS, like the size of a a house. She was a 30-metr class. She was weren a see-thru shitr and a thogn.

Eren made a sexy titan noise.

"RarR" he sed and Dimond saw thaat his THINGY was like the size of a huge TREE! Liek 50 feet big! She sexed at him BUT THEN...

TIATANS!

1000000 titans caem porin thru a whole that Armurd Titan had punchd in da wall. They wer all sex cravin pervs and smoler than Dimond (like 10 meter clas) but they ranned toward her nd started to try to haev sexi time wit her.

"NOOOOO" ROARED sexi Erin Titan wavin around him arms nd killing da other tins... _DIMOND WAS HIZ!_! nO other tian couldd have his haute dimond1!

They wer all smashin up the houes and shit but then... LEVI! Even tho he was like 40 he was still RELLY haute. He was like a 40-meta class nd he was CARRYIN A HUGE LYSOL SPARY BOTTEL AND A GIANT CLOTH ND CLEANING OFF DA TOPS OF DA HOUSES ND DA WALL ND SHIT!

"Oh mi sexi levi" Dimond Titan sed an went to go to Levi. He had da cleenin bottel and the towl and cleened off da tops of the da walles, dusted da canins, and even washd sum of da titnas hair nd shit.

"Hes so clean" dimond

Eren sexi made anther sexi titan roarig noise and blastd out all daothr titan eers but not Levi or Dimonds because dey wre special. Anyways da rest of the titan died.

"U BASTARD I WASHED THERE HARE! AND YOU KILLE THEM!" yelld sexi Levi waving the spray botel at Eren.

They launched at eech other and started beetin each otha up! But theen Lust-drivin Erin started fuckin Levi!

soon only sexi Titan moaNs COULd be heard all around wall rose!

"i wanna join in!" sscreem Dimond launchin herelf at the entangeld Titan with there enormous thingy.. both of them were like 5-10 metes talla den her! It was so sexi they both wrere so HAUTE.

They riped are clothes ooff an started to DO HER!

But then1!

STUPID UGLI FUCKKIN ANNI APPERED OUT OF NO WHEE AND EREN ND LEVI GOT TURNED ON BI HER SO DEY ABANDOND DIMND!

"ugh"" dimond! Going to find better maetes.

 **how idd u like da first chapter?**


	2. DA GEE QUEST

**Ok so i want to ad my FAVOITEST PERSON EVA into dis buk! Gee! I luv u gersrd way! Ur gonna be the hautest titan eva!**

Sudenly... Armen!

Armen was relly gay lookin wit long blond hair nd girly eyes but still supper haute. He was like 200 feet tol - almost twiec as big as Smol Me titan (only 150 fet talle!)

"IM HERE TO EET SUM MOTHAFUKKIN POPEL!" Armen screemed loudly making sexing tittin Noises like Eren had minuets be4 but Eren had abaddoned Dimond for sum stupid fukkin Trator Anny!

"MMM GGGRRRR AAAAHHHHH!" yellde Armine snakkin on some ugly bithces that were hangen out on da wall and suddenllyy... LEVI! Smol levi came runnin over to Dimon, covered in bludd! "Cleenme off Im so dirty babe!" He sed handin over da giant lysol bottel and a cleen white cloth.

Dimond spunj bathd Levi hapily. To bad his thingy wus coverd by a big towel wit an apron ware dere was lots more leysel and sum otha cleenen shit.

"Da kind of dirt were da water nevar cleens off da close! I keep a boook of da naems and dose... onli go so far till u barry dem... so deep! anddowwn we go... and down we goo... and we all fall down! I TRIEEEEEDD1!1!" Levi souds alot like gerard way when hes signing and its sooooo haute. Spunge bath intensifis!

"oh never agan o nevar again dey gave us 2 shot to dabback of da hedd and were all ded now!1 Itiried i tried oh i trieddddd one more nite one more night, nowi im, laffin out, cryin out, laffin out LOUD, and i tried, and i tried, but i lied, laughin out, laughin, never agan. never agan. they gave us 2 shot to da back of de hed and were all ded now..."

LEvi sexily sang Gerards woords and expresed his sadnses at the humans killin all da titans without askin. Also evey1 no u have to shoot a titan 2 with gun before it ken die.

Husky british Levi britished sexily: "LEjend says dere is a titan wit brite red har who looks like gerard way and he mite be jerard way from back in the 2000's but he is danjerous and haute. It a verry dangerous jorney to find him. ME nd my sqwad tired to find him but he was nooot to be found!"

He cunteded on his stori. "Onse, dere was a burnin library ful of da last books in da world. Da only ones we savved were da ones on Gerard Way, nd its kinda alligel to sing his songs, or even reed da books, haa, but dere wassa map on oen of dem..."

Levi took daa map from his apron.

"If there is a place you got to go

I am the one you need to know

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!

If there is a place you got to get

I can get you there I bet

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!"

Da gerard way map singged like da stupid Dora map and i smakked it till it shut up. Gerards ways face appeared movin on da map. "Im gee and since ur SO sexi im here to help u find me?"

OK!" Were findin that titan! I sed formationed into aa Titan and made out wit LEvi "Ok my love and U2 armin LEts go find Geee!"

We put togetehr the Gee Survey Coprs so dat we coold find him.. it would be lots of weork!


	3. Gay litel Armen?

**My teecher is helpin me again bc we wrote this durnin Friday class with him.**

Da map kept singin that stupid song and it woldnt shuttupp until i smaked it. Even tho it was gerarrds voice it was not very haute after 10000 times it repeeted.

Sudenly Gerard started signing Cancer and then...

Armen got a nozbleed!

"Omg i new u wer gay," I told him "YAOI!"!

"Ha u only just figured dat out? Ive nown for like 500 years" sed Levi bc titans aer immortil, every1 nose dat.;

"uhhhh..." sed Gereard. "Im gay to! Hahaa!"

"Im gay" sed Levi, cummin out of da closet for everyon. "So am i" sed Erin

"well... i am to" i sed. "Wel really bi."

"were bi too" sed the boys.

Dimondstarted strippin and then they all got nozbleeds but their blood was toxiic asid and it killed all of da people under them and flooded da whole distroct.

"oops" "haha"

DENNNN

DA WALLS BROEK!

like 838078730946840923640392865512 titens came thru da walls dancin and singin like dat retarded drunk batmen Titen in slap on titan lol DATS THE BAST PARODI EVAR!

Wel anyways they hartlessly stated killin all da peeple and killin all da pepple.

Sudenly... sexi Been!

"omg no some1s gona kil u!" I sed unhappily becaus Bean was da sexyist Titen ever.

"Its ANNYYY!" OMG YELLED ARMIN NO! BEAN!

Suddenly, ANNY!

"Im here to fucking MURDER all of u titens because your fuckin STUIPID ASS BICHES!" yeld ugly Annie shit.

"O NO U DONT!" ylld Levi drowinin her in his portable tub of bleech. Den he started to cleen her body off wit Windex (lol hes so ocd)

He took off his fanci white tye thingy that he had becas he was spechail important dude. He started strangling da littel titaens wit it.

"haahhaaaa" he sed

"NOOOO" Anny as she drwoned in da bleech.

BUT THEN...

cliffeee!


	4. DIMOND DYEs?

Somtime lader Anny dyd. She dowring in da bleech... den, da Gerard maps tarded singin agan!

"IM DA MAAAAAP"

"SHUT UP GERARD" yelld Levi dunking the map in da bleech

"ow omg you fucking ideit" screemed Gerad map. "Go fuk yoursef."

"NOOOOO" screemed Levi "hey erin wanna have sum...

GAY BUTSEKS?"

"OMFG yaaas buttseks" yelld Erin "i just ador butsex it is vary fun"

"YAY1" YELLED LEVI! Den... dey started havin gay lemons.

"YAOI"! i YELLD hapily. I aaboutely adoor butsek to.

It was very ez to watch cuz dere thingys were vary big and it gave me many nosbleeds.

but then... i got 2 many nosbleds and neerly passed out!"

"mmmm mmm mm! yeled Eren "HEY OMG DID DIMOND DYE?!"

"she nozbleded to much!" sed Levi turnin back to a human so dat he could bik up Dimond and bring her to da hopsiptal.

"DR JAGER SHES DYIN" yeled Gerad Map. "SAVE EHR DOCTAR SEXI JAGE"

"ew u find my dad sexualy atraktive?"sed Erin

"I FIND EVERY1 SEXUALY ATRAKTIVE IM BISECKSUAL _YOU ABSOLUTE FUKTARD SHITNUGGED_!"

"we need 2 save Dimond!"

Dey ripped of her cloths to revel her giant boobs and dey all got "happi trees" in dere pants _**(im studyin bob ross in art cllass hehe)**_

"SHE MITE DYE!" YELLED DR JAGER! "shes gonna die!"

he moniter flatlined for like 5 seconds but den LEvi used his hapi tree on her and...

CLIFFE?

iS DIMOND GONNA DIE OR NOT!?

 **OMG IM RITING A TOKYO GOL STORI!**


	5. SEXI NOSEBLED CHAPTA

**omg hapi late Birday TILER JOSEF mmm I HOP U GOTTED SUM HAUT SEXI YAOI ACSHUN FROM JOSHY ;P**

"OMG WE THOT U WER GONNA DYE"

dimond was warin a smol hopsital gown thingi bc i wusnt suposd to be neked arond da doktors. Dey sixily operatud on me den i was OK

"o no the tit ans ae gettin into da hospital PROTECT DIMOND AT AL COTS!"

ok all cots"" sd Mr Yager and he lokked Dimond in a closet tho da titens were slammin shit aroond and litin fires nd killin aall da pashents.

Dey all strapped on there 3dmg gear nd flyed arond da hopsital nd started pokin ot da huge titen eyes nd stuffs.

"OMG ITS ANNY!" yeled Erin hopefuly killin Anny and smiled ugly Rain sun. Shit

"NOOOOOO" yel Dimond smakkin him frum in da closet her arm wuz relly long nd went thru da walls n shit but neways she smakked him cuz she wannet do.

"IM SUPPA POWAFULLED!" she yeled Bustin out of da closet nd all da titans got nobleds cuz in da strugel her hospital gown felled of Exposin her size 14284398474987 JJQ boobs!

"HOLEY SHIT LOOK AT DAT HAUT PEES OF ASS~" curdely Yeld a Titan, his nos bled waas lieke a sexi red GUYSER (wer learner abut dat shit n SCIENSE class nd it so weerd, lie, da eerth gets a hot water nosebld "Guyser" like every day?! WAT?!)

"IF U LEVE ME FRENZ ALONE ILL HAVE SEX WIT ALL OF U" desperately Dimond becuz her frenz were otnumberd and she new dey were gonna lose.

"but ur so smol" sed Titen

"I CAN TURN INTO TITEN U FUKSTIK SHITARD ASSCLOWN!" dimond

"wel.. ok... wut u think" sed big Titen turning stuipedly to other Titen

"mmmm yehhh" dey sed pervily.

"O NO THERE GONNA TAKE AVANTEJE OF SEXI DEFENSLISS ME!~~~~~" sed dimoond wavin aorond her Red gerard way hare that went to her feet. When she was a Titen it was like sexi red ropes like Lickerish.

She turnt in2 a Titen!

"OMG SO SEXI!" SED Big Ugli Titen playin wit her buob dat were size of hauses.

"RAPEEEE" yeled Dimond reel lod. Levi came over n POYSENED EVER1 wit BLEECH mixed wit AMONIA! but she survived cuz she wus relly sexi.

"OK MI LOVE! " he sed she turnt back to human he picked her up relly sexi and "i love u so much" it was then dat she reelised dat he had a BIG british accent dat was relly sexi because she loved british bppl.

"OMG UR ACCENT IS SO SEXI"

"wat aaccept"

"da brithis acsent.."

what birish ascent"

"UR FUKKIN SHITARDED BRITISH ACESNET U ABSOLUT FUKTARD!"

"I DONT HAVE A FUKKIN ACCENT"

"FUK U"

Dimond found out weepingly dat she Was hulusinating (dat trippy shit warre u see people nd stuff dat arent relly dare or sum shit like dat?!) Levi imedialty FORGIVED her nd hugged her Sexily she could fee his "happy tree" against her

"ooo" she sed

"wat" nervously Levi, hoppin dat se hasndt notised it

"ooo.. nutin"

"mmm" he sed

"letss go 2sleep nd rest after dat horribel titen invasion"

ok"

Dey all set up camped in woods.

Suddenly Gerard italianed ""If there is a place you got to go

I am the one you need to know

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!

If there is a place you got to get

I can get you there I bet

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!

I'm the Map!"" SNIGGED sexily

OMG SHUTTUP" YELLED LEVI "WERE TRYNA SLEEP HER U STUPID SHITEHED"

"be nice u piece of fuck" dimond litely punhed him in da face but lovinly so she wasnt like.. a busing him or anything.

LALALALA

wtf TITENSNSNSNSS levi sexi

HAREM

opps


	6. handji is anoyin

we all waked up 2 da same noise... tit was a scary Titen!

"WHO DA FUCK DARES BE IN MY FOREST U LITTLE SHITS" yeled not other then... DOT PIXYSTIK!"

"HOLY SHIT U SKARED ME!" yeled Dimond.

"oo look at u little sexi"

"STOP HARASIN ME!" she screemed at him he took out a flask from his giant Titen sized shirt pokert AND DRINKED!

"123 123 drink 123 123 drink IMMA SWINGED FRUM DA SHANDELEER!" he singed Sia but sounded relly bad cuz 1: he wuz a man nd B) He wus drunked.

"omg shut up commander dot pixysstik"

Dotted shut up den Said "IMA BE HUMANED AGEN!" de tured bakk into TITEN!

"WHATS GOIN ON I CUNT SEE ANYTIN" yeled Da GErard Mapp from inside da Bakpak.

"NUTTIN!" screemed Dimodn

"WELL SHIT IT SOUNED LIKE UR CHEETIN ON ME!" SAId Gerard.

"Im not ur gf" Blushingly dimond at da map. "Desides ur Just a map."

"Haha daats wat u tink Sweaty" said da map flirtingly n cripticly.

"Go away" dimond swated da map away nd turned bak to Levi who was havin gay butsexs wit Erin "Heh heh PORN"

"HEY HEY HEY HYEH YEH YHEYH HEY HEYEH HEY HEY!" yeled Hanji suddeny appearing they was exited

"DERE HOLDIG... DA 24720340TH TITEN HUNGA GAEMS!" they yeled.

"OMG LETS GO ENROLL SO WE CAN KIK SUM TITANN ASS!"

"K"

DEN HANJI STARTED SHAKIN THERE ASS AND EVERY1 WUZ LIKE 'EW HANI:

HEHE DEY SED


	7. geesus

Da titens hunger gaems was relly sucki becuz all it wuz wuz sum fukckin ugly titens beetin ech uther2 death in a big erena.

"U BITCHED NEED SUM STRIPPIN!" yeled Dimond, turnin into da 40-mtr titen. Den she started stipin outta her sexi titan lanjere. (She wusnt 1 of thos UGLI mussl-y titens like Anny nd she loked like a gient sexi human)

"OMG HER BUBS ARE AZ BIG AS HOUSS!"

"omg" DA fitin titens stopped fitin and tried to sexi wit her

"NOPE!" sh e yeled "IN ORDA 2 SEXI WIT ME U NEED TO WIN ALL OF A DUELS!"

"OK" den titens started murderin eech utha. Finalli oNE very HAUTE titen won! He hed sexki blak har nd frekkles nd stuff.

"OMG MARKO UR SO HAUTE"

"U NEED SUM FREKLED GEESUS!"he yeled aatDimond and stated runiin at her but...

"OMG DID SUMONE GALL ME OR WAT!?" A VERY VE5Y SEXI TITEN WIT BRITE RED HARE APPERED...

"omg it S TITEN GERRARD WAY!?" yeled DIMOND!?

CLIFEEEEE!111


	8. Gerard deepthrots a map!

ew deres exams al lats week... i hup i didt fale any of dem

Titen gerd was SO HAUT. he had paris poosin hare! nd it war relly haute.

"OMG YASSSSS" SCREEMED DA MAP HOPPIN OUTTA DA BAKPAK "now i nd GEard can finally be 1"

Then it hopped dwnw Greds throt (hehe he depthroted da map!)

"OMG I FEEL SO ALIV!"! sed Gerrd raisin his arms 2 da ski nd startin 2 twerk. (Wait cen GUYZ twirk!? IDDK?! Sum1 tell me!?)

"Wat abOT MEEeEeEEEE:" yeled Marko.. "NOW ITS TIEM... WE NEEDS TO... HAVE AN TWERKIN PARTI!"

So we srtated an twerkin train were all daa titens wer inn a train nd TWERKIN aganst eech other, nd the eerth is SHAKIN, n everythin was haute, nd al tha guyss TWERKY THINGYS wer SOOOOO HAUTE!

"omg" dis PARTI! its so KULL i yeled!

"DATS CUZZA ME!" yeled Paris Poosin

HEHEEHEHEHE!


	9. omfg they hav a pixnic

**omgz itz ben so loung sinec i updayded this stoyry?! omz im s oo sory i faled da 8th garde soi had sumer school nd shit so its reallhy old but i loev it so im gona keep writin it an shit...**

NEWAYS...

da titens desided to go on a giant sexi picnix! they climbd ova da WALL nd shit. eren pakked sum humans 4 a snak and LEvi brot sum cleener nd Lysol dat was ffor drinkin n shit. Dimond was goin piggi bak on Gerard bc he was so hot n emo.

i nuzeled his hare whic was red but someimz blak. "rawrd XD: i sed n he smelled at me becauz hi lieks emo girlz.

"u so hot bby'but then eren n armin n marko n levi n even dat bich annie was gettin relly jelous so dimond hoped off and walked with them; dey was swingin da picnic basjkt.

"omg is dat been" sad dimond lokin of into da distance nd seein fuckin been , da hotest titan of all, in da distance. he was hot.

she n been started havin kinky butsecks. levi nd eren watchd n master bated to the site of the kikny gai butsecks. dimond swinged the picknic basked as dey walked towards a larj hill. dey sset the blakket on to da gras and sat down.

" i hat da gras" sed levi, cuz he was a cleen freek lol. (o btw deyr all in hyumen form rn theyr normal hite) he dident want 2 sit on the towel but then dimond sitted on the toweel nd she was nekked nd he wantd 2 play wt her boobies so he sat lol.

"mmm play wit my boooooobs? dimond moand nd levi smelled at her. dey weas havin a big orgyt but dey were all fitin over dimobnd, especialy dos lesbians krista and ymur.

suddenlylylyly?...?

HUAMANS?!1?!1/.1;/1/1


End file.
